Cherish: to hold dear; treat with tenderness; aid or protect.

Home Sweet Home. Ah, it feels so good to be home and to sleep in your own bed, to have a cup of tea from water that as actually been boiled, to be able to sleep in without having 3 dozen people tramp through your room before lunch. Oh, it feels good!! Real good.

I have a bit of routine that comes from spending too much time in hospital. When I get home with the massive list of things to do that I created to help beat boredom I find I get home, look at my list and am exhausted just reading it!!! In hospital I spend so much time thinking about what I would be doing if I was home at that moment, creating projects and coming up with ideas left, right and centre to implement when I get home. I have every intention of doing everything on my list immediately but the problem with spending two weeks in hospital is that your energy levels and strength are zip. Nothing. Making a cup of tea requires a sit down for ten minutes after. My legs are weak. My heart pounds after walking up the stairs. I am exhausted at the drop of a hat. Very disappointing when you have an idea in your mind of what you will do when you are well enough to do it. Another throw back of being unwell regularly is that you think that after a course of antibiotics and two weeks in hospital you will be well enough afterwards to climb Mt Everest. And when I was younger that was the case. After an admission I could go back to working two jobs and having a great social life and not miss a beat. Now days that is not the case. I am happy to be able to do the washing and meet a friend for lunch!!

In the past I have gotten frustrated with myself for what I saw as myself being lazy or just not motivated enough. I was pretty hard on myself which only made me feel worse. What I have learnt is that while it is OK to make lists and come up with grand plans for my post admission adventures, ultimately I need to take it one hour at a time, one day at time. I have learnt to check in with myself regularly and check if I feel up to crossing another thing of my list or if I need to sit down and have a rest for 10. I also don’t beat up on myself for not achieving everything on my list within 5 minutes. I do what I can when I can. I set myself little goals that when achieved over a week or so will cross one big thing off my list. I do not have the energy anymore to do big things in day and I am OK with that. I can only do what I can do and I am ultimately happy to be able to do anything.

So that is where I am today. Taking it one step at a time. Doing what I can. Today I might not have so much energy but tomorrow is another day and I am happy with that being the case. It is easy to be hard on yourself when you see people around you doing big things and you are struggling to have a shower but we need to realise that there is no point in looking to others for what you should be doing. You need to be kind to yourself and be happy that you are to do anything today.

So I will go hang out my washing and remind myself that I just got out of hospital, I don’t need to be Superwoman, I just need to be Lily and do the best I can do today.

Take care, Lily.

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

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Spending a lot of time in hospital you learn the things that you should pursue and the things you should let go. It can be really frustrating to know that something is not right with yourself and for it to be passed off as nothing everytime you raise the issue. It may be an inconvenience for your medical team when you keep at it but if you are positive that there is something funky going on then you HAVE to pursue it. It could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE.

Several years ago that very scenario played out in my life. I had been sick for a good while. It was not my normal problems and I just felt something was seriously amiss. I brought it up every clinic I had for over 6 months where I was told that it was just the natural progression of my disease. That was all good and fine, I knew that my Illness was degenerative and that it was going to happen but deep in my gut I knew that something was very wrong. I took the usual steps to trying to find the problem and fix it but when you are stonewalled everytime you raise the issue it can become very frustrating. When I knew that my doctor could not help me anymore due to the fact he didn’t think that things could be improved I decided to change consultants. This was a very tough decision and was not an easy process but after several months it happened. As I got to know my new doctor and his way of working I realised the importance of an open dialogue between a patient and their doctor and medical team. It totally changed how my concerns were dealt with and that made me feel a whole lot safer. Within months of changing doctors we found that I had contracted a possibly deadly infection. I had probably had it for at least 6 months. It almost killed me. I know if I had not pushed and pushed and then used my right to change doctors then I probably wouldn’t be here right now. It is as simple as that.

That experience taught me many things. Firstly, know and listen to your body. If you aren’t aware of your health then it makes a doctors job that much harder. If I had of just ignored my feelings I would be dead. Secondly, I learnt to stick to my guns. I knew that something was wrong and if I had of just swallowed every fob off then I would have paid the ultimate price. Keep at them. Thirdly, I learnt that you need to be willing to take action if you are not being heard. You need a doctor that listens to you. Keep trying until you find one. It will take time but you need a doctor that will communicate well and treat your relationship as a working partnership. Because that is what it should be. And don’t be afraid to remind them that it is you that has everything to lose, not them, when you feel like you are not being acknowledged as the expert of your own body.

I am writing this post today because I have come up against another “Stick to Your Guns” problem and once again I am sure I have no doubt annoyed my team with my persistence but it has paid off because I was right, there is a problem and if I had of just listened to the “it’s OK, it’s normal” routine again then I hate to think what the outcome might be. It is really important to be an expert on yourself. Know yourself. And fight for yourself. You won’t regret it. Guaranteed.

Take care, Lily.

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

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So gaps between posts have been a regular occurrence lately, I am sorry about that. I have been in and out of hospital since April which has been making it really had to get back into a routine. I am back in hospital and am trying to get better and get out of here for more than a couple of weeks at a time!! That’s the plan! I am trying to keep my chin up, there have been tears but I am trying to focus on what I have to do to get out of here for a good while. The main thing to do is to sit back, relax and let the medication due its job. That takes time and unfortunately it means I have lots of it to kill! That is when my little plan of action comes into play.

Having an unexpected emergency admission can really throw you out of whack. Having the “luxury” of a planned admission means that you are able to bring the things that can give you comfort, keep you entertained and amused. An emergency admission means that you grab the bare essentials and run. After getting through the tough spot, when you are more alert and awake that is when you start to miss your creature comforts. That is where I am tonight. I miss my photos, I miss my favourite lipbalm that got misplaced in the chaos and I miss my books and notebooks. These things may seem small, say in comparison to big things like my boyfriend but they are the things that keep my happy when I don’t have company. I do however have the internet, some fashion mags and lots of food so things are looking up!! The rest will come with my boyfriend. These things help keep me comfortable while I bide my time.

I like to have a plan of action for hospital admissions. What I want to have achieved by the time I get out of here and when I want to get out of here. I also aim to have little things to do each day. Today it was watch the afternoon old movie on Channel 9 (Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? today, hooray!) and then have a shower and beautify. I had a yummy feed and am now planning my day tomorrow (visitors! HOORAY!). Giving yourself something to do and a rough time line, I have found, makes the day go by much quicker. For example, I will read this book for an hour and half, then I will have a shower, then I will go for a walk then I will have a nap and so on. If I am too tired to do anything I sleep, if I am awake and alert then I make myself a little routine, I am not a nazi about keeping to it but knowing that I have something coming up really does make things go quicker than sitting there watching the clock wishing time would fly by. I also try and have a project to do for the admission. Finish a study workbook. Read a certain book. Catch up on correspondence. All these little things help. I guess this plan works for any occasion when you need to kill time, not just hospital. It works for anything.

So as bored as I get, as frustrated I sometimes feel, I have my little foot stomp and then get back to entertaining myself and I guess it is one thing I have learnt to do very well. I don’t have to rely on anyone to keep me amused! I also remind myself how lucky I am to now be feeling well enough to be alert and awake, it means I am on the mend and home is coming sooner rather than later. So here’s to that!

Take care, Lily.

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

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Well, I know that my absences have been often lately and I am very sorry about that. Since I have started this site I have had so many changes in my life, I am still catching up to myself, I think! I will hopefully be back to a routine very soon so stick with me!

Onto “The Life We Cherish” business. I am in hospital and am recovering from having surgery last week. It has been a painful and scary time but it is done and I am feeling pretty good for punching bag!! One thing that has been really clear to me is how important it is to keep a positive attitude. In the lead up to the surgery, I kept myself busy so I wouldn’t have to much time to think about the risks or the negative outcomes (I had this procedure done in 2001 and it left me with a chronic pain issue that I was told could get worse second time around – try sleeping with that on your mind!). I was able to keep my mind off things during the day but at night, lying in bed, the fear came back. The anxiety would creep in. And then I started dreaming about sitting in a waiting room, waiting to go into surgery. Talk about heavy! I had to keep a bit of control of the situation and the only way I could do that was through my attitude. I decided to keep it in my mind that I could get through this and there was no reason why this had to turn out to be a bad thing. It could help me. So everytime I thought about something that worried me to do with the surgery, instead I would remind myself that it was possible for me to get through this very well and to stay positive. And I am very happy to say it seems to have worked. My recovery time has been halved from my first time surgery and I am feeling happy and looking forward to going home as soon as possible. Keeping a positive attitude really can get you through anything. This I know for sure (thanks Oprah!)…..

My darling Mum slipped me a little note amongst my things and I thought I would share it with you all. I am not sure where she got it from or who wrote it (if you did let me know so I can can put your name to it!) but it really summed up the last week for me. Enjoy and I will be back soon with some other great news.

ATTITUDE

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life.

It more important than education, than money, than circumstances,

than failures, than successes, than whatever anyone might say or do.

It is more important than appearances, giftedness or skill.

The remarkable thing is that we have the choice

to create the attitude we have for that day.

We cannot change the past.

We cannot change the way people act.

We cannot change the inevitable.

The one thing we can change is the only thing we have control over,

and that is our attitude.

I’m convinced that life is 10 percent what actually happens to us

and 90 percent how we react to it.

Take care, Lily.

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

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