Home Sweet Home. Ah, it feels so good to be home and to sleep in your own bed, to have a cup of tea from water that as actually been boiled, to be able to sleep in without having 3 dozen people tramp through your room before lunch. Oh, it feels good!! Real good.

I have a bit of routine that comes from spending too much time in hospital. When I get home with the massive list of things to do that I created to help beat boredom I find I get home, look at my list and am exhausted just reading it!!! In hospital I spend so much time thinking about what I would be doing if I was home at that moment, creating projects and coming up with ideas left, right and centre to implement when I get home. I have every intention of doing everything on my list immediately but the problem with spending two weeks in hospital is that your energy levels and strength are zip. Nothing. Making a cup of tea requires a sit down for ten minutes after. My legs are weak. My heart pounds after walking up the stairs. I am exhausted at the drop of a hat. Very disappointing when you have an idea in your mind of what you will do when you are well enough to do it. Another throw back of being unwell regularly is that you think that after a course of antibiotics and two weeks in hospital you will be well enough afterwards to climb Mt Everest. And when I was younger that was the case. After an admission I could go back to working two jobs and having a great social life and not miss a beat. Now days that is not the case. I am happy to be able to do the washing and meet a friend for lunch!!

In the past I have gotten frustrated with myself for what I saw as myself being lazy or just not motivated enough. I was pretty hard on myself which only made me feel worse. What I have learnt is that while it is OK to make lists and come up with grand plans for my post admission adventures, ultimately I need to take it one hour at a time, one day at time. I have learnt to check in with myself regularly and check if I feel up to crossing another thing of my list or if I need to sit down and have a rest for 10. I also don’t beat up on myself for not achieving everything on my list within 5 minutes. I do what I can when I can. I set myself little goals that when achieved over a week or so will cross one big thing off my list. I do not have the energy anymore to do big things in day and I am OK with that. I can only do what I can do and I am ultimately happy to be able to do anything.

So that is where I am today. Taking it one step at a time. Doing what I can. Today I might not have so much energy but tomorrow is another day and I am happy with that being the case. It is easy to be hard on yourself when you see people around you doing big things and you are struggling to have a shower but we need to realise that there is no point in looking to others for what you should be doing. You need to be kind to yourself and be happy that you are to do anything today.

So I will go hang out my washing and remind myself that I just got out of hospital, I don’t need to be Superwoman, I just need to be Lily and do the best I can do today.

Take care, Lily.

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

Well, I know that my absences have been often lately and I am very sorry about that. Since I have started this site I have had so many changes in my life, I am still catching up to myself, I think! I will hopefully be back to a routine very soon so stick with me!

Onto “The Life We Cherish” business. I am in hospital and am recovering from having surgery last week. It has been a painful and scary time but it is done and I am feeling pretty good for punching bag!! One thing that has been really clear to me is how important it is to keep a positive attitude. In the lead up to the surgery, I kept myself busy so I wouldn’t have too much time to think about the risks or the negative outcomes (I had this procedure done in 2001 and it left me with a chronic pain issue that I was told could get worse second time around – try sleeping with that on your mind!). I was able to keep my mind off things during the day but at night, lying in bed, the fear came back. The anxiety would creep in. And then I started dreaming about sitting in a waiting room, waiting to go into surgery. Talk about heavy! I had to keep a bit of control of the situation and the only way I could do that was through my attitude. I decided to keep it in my mind that I could get through this and there was no reason why this had to turn out to be a bad thing. It would help me. So everytime I thought about something that worried me to do with the surgery, instead I would remind myself that it was possible for me to get through this very well and to stay positive. And I am very happy to say it seems to have worked. My recovery time has been halved from my first time surgery and I am feeling happy and looking forward to going home as soon as possible. Keeping a positive attitude really can get you through anything. This I know for sure (thanks Oprah!)…..

My darling Mum slipped me a little note amongst my things and I thought I would share it with you all. I am not sure where she got it from or who wrote it (if you did let me know so I can can put your name to it!) but it really summed up the last week for me. Enjoy and I will be back soon with some other great news.

ATTITUDE

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life.

It is more important than education, than money, than circumstances,

than failures, than successes, than whatever anyone might say or do.

It is more important than appearances, giftedness or skill.

The remarkable thing is that we have the choice

to create the attitude we have for that day.

We cannot change the past.

We cannot change the way people act.

We cannot change the inevitable.

The one thing we can change is the only thing we have control over,

and that is our attitude.

I’m convinced that life is 10 percent what actually happens to us

and 90 percent how we react to it.

Take care, Lily.

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

At the moment I am organising my 10 year school reunion. What a blast from the past! Getting in touch with people and going over old year books has brought the memories of school flooding back. School is something we all have to undertake, I didn’t see the point of whinging and moaning about something that I had to do regardless. And I actually enjoyed school. I guess that’s because sometimes I didn’t get the choice of whether or not I wanted to go. I HAD to go to hospital for weeks at a time. If you had to choose over school and hospital…. I urge you to choose school!!

Thinking about my reunion also has me thinking about the unique issues that living with Chronic Illness or Injury presents especially when you are also trying to navigate the teenage mine field of High School! High School can be a difficult journey for some regardless of health issues. Having Cystic Fibrosis meant that having an regular experience of school was never going to be an option. During Primary School my having CF didn’t really impact on my relationship with my peers. How do you explain something like CF to kids ranging in age from 6 to 12 years old? I had small moments where my having CF caused a problem or showed me that I was different to other kids my age but ultimately I got through Primary School without too much drama. High School was a different story. In my early years I was quietly known as the “sick girl”. I remember going into hospital in Year 8 and getting back to school and people telling me that a girl I thought was a friend was telling people I had died. I am not sure why she did it – popular opinion went with the fact that she loved attention and she got it when she pulled that trick. She left our high school not long after that. Because I had gone to school with most of the people in my since Year 2 people generally left me alone. It wasn’t brought up often. In Year 9 a new guy in school delighted in telling people that I had a forehead like that of a cancer patient, I was shocked and saddened that some people would think something like that was hilarious. I tried to laugh it off but his comment stayed with me for years, making me self conscious for a good while. By Year 10 I had worked out who were my friends and who was not. Around that time, I started getting attention from boys (it coincidentally started when my bra size went up a couple of cups!). I remember one of my friends telling me she felt sorry for me because I would never have a boyfriend because I had CF. I had gone on a couple of dates, had a few crushes and kisses before that and it had never occurred to me that I would have a problem with getting a boyfriend. And I guess I didn’t because a couple of months after that I started my first real, four year long, relationship. On the other hand, my friend never had a boyfriend while we were at school. Those sorts of things hurt me at the time but I didn’t let them define me, I moved on and lived happily through most of my teenage years.

In my final year at High School I became very ill, I missed the QCS test, I was in hospital for several weeks, needing surgery half way through the admission. By this stage my peers were not really bothered by my having CF, I wasn’t really any different to them in their eyes. However I found that even though I had been going to school with most of these kids for more than 10 years, I was still asked what exactly was CF. One of my final assignments was to do a oral presentation for my peers on a topic of my choice. I figured that is was now or never and I did a talk on Cystic Fibrosis. I explained the physical problems, my medical needs and showed them photos of hospital as well as friends that I had lost. The room was completely silent. I was the only student to actually have people ask questions at the end. The teacher had tears in her eyes and happily gave me an A!! I kicked myself that I had not done it sooner but I felt that by Year 12 my peers were ready to hear what I had to say and that they would not pity me or treat me like a freak. It taught me that it is better to be upfront and honest because once the truth is out there it almost becomes a non-issue.

I have spoken to parents of children with CF and they have asked me whether I enjoyed school and whether it would be better for their child to be home schooled. All I can say is that you have to look at every individual situation and do what is right for that child. I can understand that parents fear that sending their precious child to school could leave them open to bullying or harmful bugs but you can only protect a child so much before you are effecting a childs developement and self beliefs. If you think that they are are not strong enough for school how are they meant to believe that CF doesn’t make them different, that it doesn’t make them weak. It is about giving them a resilient and positive attitude as this will help them through more than just school.

I loved school. I loved the interaction and it made me into a person that did not use my health as an excuse not to participate in life. I was too busy to ever feel sorry for myself. I know that this is not everyones experience but it is mine. I did have hard times but I was lucky that I always had open lines of communication with my Mum and I would write my experiences into my journal which helped me process my feelings. I did the best I could with what I had and I think I came out of it pretty well. I still keep in contact with some schoolmates and they will be friends for life. I was taught to be open and honest about my situation and to not be ashamed of my disease. And that is a positive outcome for me.

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

After the positive feedback I received from my last post I have decided to focus this post on positivity. You do not need to be living with Chronic Illness to need the power of positivity in your life. Whether you are unhappy in your job, relationships or home, the power of that unhappiness can have many unwanted side effects. It slowly invades every area of your life and once it has a hold it can be really hard to shake it. Living a life with a positive outlook may come naturally to some but it can also be learnt. You can choose happiness and positivity. While low levels of life satisfaction have been linked with mortality, positive emotions have been found to lead to quicker recovery from Illness and Injury, a longer life and less chance of Disability and Chronic Illness. In people without health issues the benefits of positive emotions give people greater life satisfaction, making people happier, positive and healthy!

There are many ways to bring more positivity in your life. You can start with simple things like surrounding yourself with positive people. Negative people bring you down to their level. I learnt this the hard way. I had to remove people from my life that only wanted to dump on me when they need to but were never there when I needed help. It is a painful process but the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Another thing to do is to take 30 minutes in a day to do something that makes you feel really happy. Not just OK but so happy you get a lovely little flutter in your heart. Things I like to do are make my environment nice and comfortable. I like to make myself feel good by dressing up, putting on some make up, pampering myself. I understand that some days you don’t have time to pamper yourself so it is important to make the effort to find joy in the small things. Buy yourself an beautiful mug to have your tea or coffee in at work. Every time you use it will bring you help keep you positive. Same goes with nice pens, papers, etc. These things give you a positivity boost when you are susceptible to unhappy feelings. A couple of other things to do include:

• Make a list of things that bring unhappiness into your life and then aim to deal with each item on that list. Sometimes it may only need a minor change but you need to give yourself permission to do it. You need to consciously decide to choose a more positive life.
• List some of the joys in your life – aim for a least one a day to start with. Each week go back over the positive items for the week to reinforce the presence of positivity in your daily life.
• Use the art of mindfulness. A type of meditation, it teaches people to take pleasure in the simple things in life – for example, the smell of a nice cup of coffee, the sunshine on your neck, the smile of a stranger.
• Set yourself realistic goals and expectations for your life. And then go about achieving them. It is easier to be positive with a couple of wins under your belt and they do not have to be big. A small win is still a win!

It is no secret that positivity and happiness go hand in hand. I know that it can be hard to remain positive when chaos erupts around you, everyone is angry at you, your unhappy at work or you have another health complication pop up but that is when you have to practice “simple positivity”. Start with the small details in your life – finding these will have a snowball effect. Everyone has to start at the beginning but it really is possible to live positively….. just start small and surround yourself with positives.

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this website please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

Finally! Back in business. It feels really good to be writing again and this post I am going to answer some of the other questions that were asked when I put out the call for any Questions people might have about living with Chronic Illness, this website or myself. Hopefully the Part 1 answers satisfied, I aim to give honest and up front answers and will continue to do so. So here we go…..

Q. You seem to believe that your attitude affects your health, can you explain why?

A. I do believe that your attitude has an affect on your health and the medical community is now acknowledging this also. There have been studies done in the USA with two groups of patients. One group of people who have a positive attitude to their health and wellbeing and the other group having a neutral or negative attitude to their health and wellbeing. The people who had a more positive attitude to their health had faster and more complete healing than the “neutral” group. That is very interesting. Even more interesting is that when people are assessed for transplantation they also make assessments into the person’s mental health and attitude. For transplantation to be successful it takes many factors including medical complications and risks but doctors also look for a patient that has a positive and resilient attitude as these people are more likely to be able to handle the stress and uncertainty of the transplantation process. Medical evidence aside, I have seen the benefits of a positive and resilient attitude when dealing with serious health issues. I have lived it myself. It is becoming more accepted that things like attitude and resilience effect our health and healing processes. There are some people that feel you cannot change your attitude. That it is the way it is but this is not true. Anyone who has suffered with Depression knows this. The most important step to changing your attitude is awareness. Once you start to become aware of your attitude and how you react to things in your life you have taken the first step to changing your thought patterns. I think in the future it will become part of a medical treatment plan to help encourage a positive and resilient attitude in patients as the benefits are well worth it. Wonderful question, thanks!

Q. You have a positive outlook on life – do you ever get down? Do you ever not take your treatments or just want to have a break?

A.Thanks, this is a great question. I am proud to have a positive outlook on life but it doesn’t mean that I do not have my moments! As I have mentioned before I have suffered Depression in the past and I used that experience to change my attitude and outlook on life however Cystic Fibrosis and Diabetes are a never ending fight. A daily battle. Everyday I am having to take pills, treatments, needles and so on just to be able to do the day to day activities that healthy people do without effort. There are times when I feel like not taking that lot of tablets, like not having a ventolin when I have to get out of bed to do it, when I have no energy to get up and have something to eat even though I know if I don’t I definitely won’t have energy to do anything. When I am sick I get tired and cranky – all I want to do is hide, curled up in bed. I have at least one day a week when I have to spend the day in bed because I cannot lift my head from the pillow. I used to feel ashamed of this, that I was being lazy, selfish. I had to learn to accept the outcomes of my being ill as much as the illness itself. It can be hard to live with the affects of Chronic Illness when you have “normal” expectations of your body. You have to learn to take it day by day and not to beat yourself up for things that are not within your control. Trying to control the Illness is not possible. Controlling your expectations of yourself is a more achievable goal. And I choose to do that with the aim of keeping a positive outlook. I hope that helps.

Q. What is your favourite book at the moment?

A. Hooray, an easy one! I have just finished reading “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert for the third time and it is definitely up there with my all time favourites (which also include “Pillars of the Earth” and any Nigella cookbook!). I came across this book at a time in my life when I really needed it. I had been very ill and was just getting over Depression. I found the authors description of her own struggle with Depression comforting as well as her humour and passion for finding her own happiness and not other peoples ideas of what her happiness should be. It is hilarious in parts and deeply moving often. It is one book that I have given as a present and it will always be a fixture on my bookshelf.

There we have it. I hope to have given you a further insight into living with Chronic Illness. Thanks to everyone who sent in a question, it was great to hear from you. Thanks to everyone for checking in again, I look forward to giving you more information about living with Chronic Illness and living positively in the next few posts. See you soon….!

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this blog please see my first POST or this collection of ARTICLES.

I put the call out on Monday for any questions that you guys might have about living with Chronic Illness or anything else you wanted to know about me. I had a few through email and one through the comments. I am will try to answer all questions as best as possible but will split them up over the next couple of posts so as to not overwhelm you!

Q. What are your non-medical goals for the future? From my darling Cysta (CF Sister), Somer Love (yes, that is her real name!)……

A. I think it is really important to have goals separate from health related stuff. It gives you something to focus on and live for. At the moment I have a couple of major goals… I am thinking of getting into Health and Wellbeing coaching. I obviously have the background and am currently studying to get the “how to” part of it down. I am currently in the process of organising group work through my local neighbourhood centre for people with Chronic Illness and Injury to help them create a realistic Health Management Plan and work on their goals for the future. It will all be pro bono and I hope to help them in many different ways. I will be doing that in the next couple of months and I am really excited about it. I also have a couple of other projects on the go at the moment but most importantly I just want to settle into my new place and then get working on them. I also dream of going to Italy for 3 months for my 30th in 2012. I will keep working hard to able to do that. Thanks Somer!

Q. Do you use any alternative treatments?

A. I think as with everything in life it is important to have balance. I have a large number of treatments as prescribed by my medical team but I have also found benefits from other places not always recognised by conventional medicine. I use pure Essential Oils in an oil burner (an Aromatherapy technique), I find certain oils like peppermint are great for respiratory problems and I have used lavender oil for years for many things ranging from Insomnia to Depression. I regularly get massages as my back muscles get very tight from coughing. I also get Acupuncture on a semi regular basis. As Chronic Illness can have a devastating effect on your hormones and due to some medications I was on, I had extremely low hormone levels. I was offered HRT and both myself and my consultant didn’t think it would be a good idea. In 2008 I found a doctor that specialises in Bio-Identical Hormones and I started them in April 2008. It has made an amazing difference to my energy levels, my headaches, my muscle tone and my appetite. It was a choice I made and it has been one I do not regret. The most important thing is that when you try any new treatment you need to be honest and upfront with your medical team – even if you think they are not going to like it, you must tell them. At the end of the day it is your choice and if it is not going to effect any of your other treatments then go for it. Also any good alternative therapist will never ask you to stop your medications – if they do…. walk. All of the above are complimentary therapies. They are to be used to compliment your current treatments not as your sole treatment plan, they will work best together.

Q. You were assessed for a Lung Transplant, are you listed?

A. No, I am not listed. I was first assessed in 2006 and then again in early 2007. This was due to a severe decline in my lung function and the doctors thought it would be very unlikely I would recover that. Their predication was that if I didn’t have a transplant within two years that I would die. This was obviously upsetting but at the same time, I knew in myself that I could get past this horrible period and that I would be able to recover some of what I had lost. And I have done exactly that through hard work, blood, sweat and lots of tears. I had to get really strict with treatments and not put my head in the sand. I am a much more aware patient and I am now also very grateful for the reprieve that I was given. Lung transplant will most definitely be a part of my future if possible but at the moment I am not there and I am happy about that.

That will do for tonight. I hope that you have found out something new and if you have any other questions please do not hesitate to email me. As I said before, I will be moving house this weekend as well as working next week so I may not be able to post as regularly as normal – I apologise and will aim to be back on board as soon as possible (lets hope Telstra will be in the mood to give me a swift new connection!).

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this blog or myself please see the ABOUT page, or the great posts on the ARTICLES page.

When dealing with Chronic Illness people often ask me how I cope with it all. The scary future. The loss of certain dreams. The uncertainty. I used to just shrug. I was never sure how to answer that question. After all, it was mainly just about surviving, not coping. Just taking it day by day. Step by step. I used to try to control things around me, hoping it would give me some sort of control over what was happening to me. That didn’t happen. I ended up stressed, depressed and on edge. Not very helpful at all. Not a very effective way of coping either! It wasn’t until I realised that I could not control what went on around me, I could only control myself and how I felt, that I found myself some peace.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson mentioned: “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”

You bring peace into your life by choosing peace. Sometimes you have to choose to be happy. Despite the chaos around you. You cannot rely on someone, something or somewhere to bring you peace and happiness. You have to give it to yourself. And to do that you have to make a conscious decision to do that which gives you that feeling of peace and happiness. Everyone needs to have that conversation with themselves, the one where you say to yourself:

“I am never going to feel happy or peaceful if I do not decide to bring it into my life and allow myself to embrace it. I am the only person in the world who has the ability to control how I feel. No one else has the power to effect how I feel about something – that is all my responsibility. I need to make conscious decision to be happy, to lead a joyous life.”

The next time someone or something throws you into a spin, remind yourself that only YOU can control how you feel so how do you feel about this problem? No one can force you to feel sad or angry. Just as no one can force you to feel happy. You do it yourself. This means that you had the power to make yourself happy along! You need to make that choice. So make the decision! It will be your own happiness that you are creating…..!

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this blog or myself please see the ABOUT page, or the great posts on the ARTICLES page.

I am writing this after a day at work, I am a bit sleepy but am feeling pretty good. At the moment I work one day a week for some family friends who are very flexible and understanding about my having CF. I am able to take time off for hospital admissions when needed and have been told many times that they are OK with all that having CF involves. I find it really rewarding to work and although it hasn’t always been possible to do so, it is something that I feel is important to do and not just for the money.

When I was in high school, preparing to leave the children’s hospital as I was just about to turn 18, I was like thousands of other teenagers being told they needed to decide right now what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives. At only 17 this is a huge task, I barely know what I want to be now at 27, let alone when I was 17! I was discussing this with some hospital staff and I was told by one lady “You have CF, just been grateful that you can get the Disability Pension. You don’t need to work nor should you, really.” Well, I can tell you, everything about that statement made me what to rebel against it (and it wasn’t just because I was 17!). I had got my first after school job bang on 15 years of age (the legal working age). By the time I left school I had already had 2 part time jobs. I really wanted to work. I liked the feeling of working. It made me feel independent and capable. I liked the social interaction and the mental stimulation. It was important to me to work. And so I did.

After school, I took a job in a bar (not the best choice for someone with lung disease but it was fun although plenty of hard work). I then moved into administration, then small business administration, then I found myself in a traineeship with the Dept Of Justice. I really enjoyed my work and had a good handful of positive references. I was always up front from the start that I had CF. I did not want to get into a job and then have them change their mind when they found out I had to have regular time off (even though that is apparently illegal!). In fact, for the Justice job interview I printed off some information about CF and CF in the Workplace and when it came time for me to ask them any questions I told them that I knew I didn’t have to tell them this information but I wanted to have a good, clean start if I got the job. I then proceeded to tell them I had Cystic Fibrosis and gave them the information that I had printed off. The looks on their faces was amazing. I walked out of that interview knowing that I had done my best and been completely honest with them. I felt good. I felt even better when I found out that I had got the job over 4 other candidates. And that it was my initiative and honesty that had got me the job. No one had ever given them information at an interview before! I learnt that it is important to be upfront about your problems if it will effect your ability to do the job, people will respect you more for it and if they react badly to it just imagine how badly they would have reacted if you had got the job and then needed time off when you were sick. You don’t want to work for people that will not understand your dilemma. And you would be surprised how much people appreciate honesty.

I really enjoyed my time at Justice and I was very sad to have to leave when I became too sick to work. I think it was a contributing factor to my depression. I just wondered “what now?”. Happily, I can say that although it took me 2 years before I was healthy enough to go back to work for my friends I have kept in touch with my old workmates at Justice. Last week I got a call from one of them and they offered me some work back in the trenches! I am so happy. They told me that even though I have health problems they are willing to work around that because I have a good attitude and other people like working with me. That is an amazing compliment.

So while it is not a necessity for me to work, I do so anyway. I do it for the pleasure of it. The feeling of satisfaction I get from it. I also had to learn the hard way you cannot always work, sometimes your health MUST come first. All in all, I recommend working part time in a job you enjoy, if you can. It will keep you in touch with the world and will give you something to focus on other than your illness. I have also seen the difference it makes in a persons confidence and wellbeing to have something that makes them feel like a contributing member of society. And not quite so much like a “sick: person. Remember, if you can do it, do it with your health foremost in your mind and then go out and enjoy yourself!!

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this blog or myself please see the ABOUT page, or the great posts on the ARTICLES page.

I have been following Jelena Dokic in the Australian Open this last week and I am so proud of how she is going. Here is a girl that has been through the highs and lows that life can offer. After shooting to fame at the age of 16 for her amazing tennis skills, her world started to crumble. The pillar of strength that was her family started to implode. Her father turned her life and her career into a mess. After many years of chaos, she moved on, standing up to her father and cutting ties with him for her own well being. She came back to Australia only to be plagued by doubts about her career and to suffer depression. No one is immune from the “black dog” however Jelena has shown this week that you can get through depression and come out stronger and better for it.

Depression is something that I have also experienced and it is something that when living with Illness and Injury can often rear its ugly head. For a long time I was oblivious to what I experiencing. I had been living with it for almost 6 months when it hit me what I was suffering from. I read some where about the symptoms of depression and when I got to the part about not wanting to eat or take showers I was so relieved! I was suffering those exact symptoms and I thought there was nothing I could do about it.  When I finally realised what I was experiencing, the name for what I was feeling, I knew that I could do something about it.

My first task was to acknowledge that I was suffering depression to my loved ones. To sit down with my boyfriend and actually say to him (through lots of tears!) “I think I am suffering depression” was such an uplifting thing to do. Obviously it was no shock to him but for me to get it out into the open and not be treated like it was something to be ashamed of was a turning point. I told my medical team how I felt and asked for some help from the Mental Health team. Just saying those words made my stomach clench but I kept on. I had two lovely ladies come to my home and talk to me about what was going on in my life and how I really did have a lot on my plate. It was such a relief to hear them say that clinical depression is something caused by the chemicals in your brain and although I could not take the medication to correct this chemical imbalance (due to medication reactions) there were things that I could do to help correct the imbalance naturally. One of the most important things they told me to do was to talk it out. And so I got a psychologist and did just that. I also read. Lots. Anything I could get my hands on about people surviving depression and coming out the other side. People that had life going for them after surviving depression. I needed to know that I could not only survive this but I could also THRIVE after this, I was not down or out yet! Those stories got me motivated and inspired and yes, I did get through it and once out the other side I did thrive. I have not looked back but I have taken the lessons that the depression taught me through it all. Talk it out. Look for HOPE. I still do these things everyday.

So if you are going through depression, make a point of noticing those fellow soldiers who have fought that battle and gone onto to live happy, fulfilling lives. Jelena Dokic is one of those people. She has been the highlight of the Australian Open with her fighting spirit. She has got through depression and it has made her an even better player and no doubt, a better person. If she can do it, so can you. Just keep on fighting. The sun will soon shine again.

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this blog or myself please see the ABOUT page, or the great posts on the ARTICLES page.

From when I was very young, I was told my life was meant to be a certain way because I was born with Cystic Fibrosis. I was meant to die young to start with. And then I wasn’t meant to make it to my teens. Then adulthood…… you get the drift. There were other things that people assumed I would not get to experience because I was “sick”. I remember a close friend in primary school telling me she felt sorry for me because I would never have a boyfriend because I was sick. I remember thinking “Really?”. I didn’t even think that would be a problem but she obviously had. I was told that I would be never be able to cope with working, that I should just be grateful that we have a Disability Pension in Australia. I remember thinking “Just watch me!” to that one! The list could go on and on. It would have been so easy for me to listen to all those “experts”, to resign myself to having a half life. Limitation was not a primary thought pattern. I was not going to sit there and wish for a life. I was going to go out and have one. And I have! Really I have!

I went out and got a part-time, after school job as soon as I turned fifteen. I got the job a month before my birthday and had to wait four long weeks to take it up! Not too much later I had my first steady boyfriend, we stayed together for four years. I was single for a little bit and then meet my current boyfriend who has been a huge source of happiness. I do not feel like having an illness ever stopped me from having a relationship because I have more to offer than just a being a “sick person”!  When I finished school I never had trouble finding jobs. I eventually completed a traineeship and even got nominated for the Trainee of the Year. I even made the finals. There are so many more things that people told me were not an option and I am so glad that I didn’t listen to them. Yes, it is important to know your limits, what you are physically capable of, but if you feel like you are strong enough to do something then you should go for it.

When you live with Chronic Illness and Injury the way you think really does effect your body. By limiting your thoughts to only sickness you are only ever going to experience sickness. So what do you do if that is where you are? The sick thoughts have taken over the healthy, happy thoughts. Well, the first thing you need to do is increase your awareness. You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge so it is important to say to yourself….

“Hey, I am finding myself thinking about sickness and limitation all the time. This is not making me happy at all.”

By acknowledging your limiting thoughts you are then more able to catch yourself when you are on the “sickness” track again. I know it is hard, I too had to start from the bottom. When I became really sick my illness was my identity, it consumed my thoughts. When I realised that I didn’t want to live like that anymore I set about changing the way I thought. Every time I got into a “sickness” thought pattern I would mentally stop and shake myself. I would acknowledge that what I was thinking may be true but it was not making me feel good. I would then try and do something to create a positive train of thought. It may have been as simple as making a cup of tea, reading a chapter in a positive book, reading your favourite quote a couple of times. Start small. If you just pull yourself up once today, then twice tomorrow, the three times that day after…. each day you are gradually bringing more positives to your way of thinking. It will not take long to get yourself thinking thoughts that have a positive effect on you physically and mentally. And when that happens you will be more open to opportunities for achieving something someone (even you) may said you couldn’t do!

I would not have gotten anywhere if I didn’t question those around me and most importantly myself. You always need to check whether you are shutting yourself off to something amazing because you – or someone else – has told you that it is beyond our limits. Whenever you think about something you would love to do but shouldn’t or even cannot remember YOU LIMIT YOUR THOUGHTS – YOU LIMIT YOURSELF.

All the best, Lily

lily@thelifewecherish.com

For more information on this blog or myself please see the ABOUT page, or the great posts on the ARTICLES page.